GIVE ME A BOX OF PROZAC FOR VALENTINE'S DAY

Well, here we are with another holiday--just when you made it through the stress of Christmas and New Year's, along comes Valentine’s Day. Yet another day to feel insecure about either how you don’t get anything or how you didn’t do enough for someone or everyone. I mean, what a depressing holiday for emo single people. There are no diamond necklaces given in silhouette, no champagne toasts-- not even a box of chocolate from CVS, or a last minute meaningless card. Just more of a reminder that here we sit, in our solitude. AS IF!!!! You still have the fighting kids in the next room. (Should insert that even married, I never got any of the above.)

In fact, I’m sick of all holidays! First, let’s take Thanksgiving. I mean, WHO really likes Thanksgiving? First, not that I don’t like a nice turkey dinner, but to celebrate our bounty while there are poor and oppressed people around the world strikes me as self indulgent. Plus, we’re taught Thanksgiving was when the “native Americans” and white folks happily got together to feast. Then we ignited a mass genocide against them. There are indigenous people—the few left—who celebrate the fourth Thursday of November as a Day of Mourning with a ceremony at Plymouth Rock, MA, the spot where the European invasion began.

Then there’s Christmas. Nice enough with the birth of baby Jesus, Christmas carols, and all that. But it’s turned into an enormous farce and retailers have hijacked this holiday and made it miserable for all of us. It’s not enough that we just got through Thanksgiving and Halloween, (which now means $50 internet costumes and huge bags of candy) but we’re inundated by Christmas paraphernalia so early now that come early December, you want to get a Prozac prescription if you have to enter one more store and hear Silent Night.

Not to sound like the Grinch, but I'm sick of the whole Christmas season. Just ask anyone, like myself, who spent hours at the mall, wrestling people who cut in line, endless hours trolling ebay, waking up at 5 am to stand in line at Game stop, for the Nintendo Wii one year, Rock Band this year. It all began with the evil White Power Ranger and demonic Tickle Me Elmo. All of which I bit and clawed my way to getting so my little tykes wouldn’t be, God forbid, disappointed on this holiest of days. Manufacturers realized making limited quantities of items made them irresistible to children and would whip parents into a frenzy as they try to track down one unattainable item or another. In a way, I do admire that ingenuity, even as I stand bleary-eyed, dejected at 4 am in front of GameStop.

From November until the new year, there is no reprieve from the relentless onslaught of inanity. Or as my children made up in a Christmas carol.. On the First day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a 27-inch plasma tv; on the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me, an Elite Xbox 360; on the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me, the impossible to find Playstation 3; on the twelfth day of Christmas my true love got his credit card bill and killed himself…… Kids say it best…

I am waiting for a presidential candidate who has the guts to say that he or she will put forth a constitutional amendment that Christmas can only be celebrated every other year!! Give us a break!!

Easter hasn’t been completely corrupted yet but again, the concept of a simple candy basket does not go over well with many I know. Again, it’s a time for candy baskets but with gifts as well. At least gift cards and cash will do on Easter. Although I do contend that the Easter Bunny is the most disturbing of the holiday icons--at least I thought so as a young child.

But with that, Happy Valentine's Day from Emo Mom!!!!! XOXO