Electronic Arts Rock Band...that's all my kids wanted for Christmas. Of course, I do the requisite mall lurking, phone calling, stopping daily at the dreaded EB Games and GameStop--even consider buying it ridiculously overpriced on Ebay.
It's a hideous repeat of last year's Christmas desperately seeking the elusive Nintendo Wii (which now sits untouched.) Wonder what those video game sadists have in store for next year?
Finally, I score. The kids get Rock Band and guess who's addicted? ME!!!!
I can barely keep my eyes open because I spent the entire weekend with my kids and their friends playing Rock Band until the early morning hours.
I'm not interested in the guitar or the drums, I'm LAYLA, the Rock and Roll singer.
I love Layla. Last time I came in the middle of a game, the boys assign me the "default" singer!!!! GET LAYLA, I insist. The kids look uneasily at my poor, mortified son wondering what the heck has happened to his mother.
But they capitulate (after I threaten to ground my son and send the others home if they don't let me play as Layla) and I get to join the band, Salt Horse Weekend (the name wasn't my idea).
Suddenly, I'm fighting with sixth grade boys about the songs we play. I can totally nail Nirvana, The Rolling Stones, Rush, David Bowie (got a 99 on Suffragette City), Boston, Ramones.... They want to play other bands I don't know. Weazer. I mean WEAZER? Can't get that one--Layla gets tossed offstage and the band loses like 10,000 fans; my band-mates are most unhappy. Make no mistake, 11-year-old boys don't mess around when it comes to video games.
The boys finally go to bed and who's still up on Rock Band? Yes! Layla and me. The band makes money for performing. So whilst they slumber, I take Layla to the Rock and Roll Shopping District!!!!! Buy her a cute pink tartan skirt, new shirt, shoes, jewelry, a pink microphone. I even get her hair styled. Layla is a ROCK STAR!
The next morning--actually closer to noon--the boys awaken and log on.
MOM, I hear. WHO SPENT ALL OUR ROCK BAND MONEY?
Geez!!!! It's like being married all over again. Suddenly I'm flashing back on the crushing, nail biting angst that would well up when my ex would open the credit card bill. I'm fumbling for an explanation: Sheepishly, I stutter out my confession. Layla and I blew all the band's money.
Even in the virtual world, I'm a compulsive shopper!! So I'm told I can no longer be in the band until I earn back the money. I mean, who's in charge here? But the yearning, the need, to be Layla won't be abated so I am sent off on a solo tour to recapture the lost revenues.
I'm telling you, these kids might be freewheeling spenders with my money but they're sure miserly with their virtual cash.
Tomorrow I'll wake up, go to the gym, do laundry, clean the house, walk the dog, yell at the kids, the usual mundane routine. But somehow I feel better having tapped into my inner Layla.
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15 comments:
Layla sounds wild and reckless, Amy. She will take you over. Beware.
You're so funny.
I like the way you tied it all up with the angst of marriage, keeping your writing theme going, adding another chapter.
"LAYLA!!!!!!!!!!! You got me on my feet....."
I am beginning to think there are addiction issues here. But I guess it is safer than having you on the streets! ;o)
I am glad the boys have enuf sense to cut you off until you can earn back the money you squandered (and WITHOUT full permission of the band, I might add).
I say we need a battle of the bands--Sick Boys vs. the "Sic" Moms. But we still need two mics. Can you please look into that when you are not doing your band community service?
Yes, I will get another microphone and I also need to get a bass. Dare I say that I am looking forward to going to GAMESTOP. My kids will really think I've lost it.
When I have proper equipment, we can have a combo TWN/Rock Band meeting.
It's KNEES Karen, KNEES!!!
Very funny. Next, Layla has to go to rehab (after stopping traffic in the nude or insulting some ethnic group or another).
Knees, feet....some people are so picky! I know it's knees. Can't a writer have a little fun!
*SHHESH* Did I call myself a writer? JK!!
(Note to self: Don't blog when you are in a hurry, or before ample caffeine.)
Karen, You better learn all the words for Layla if you want to be in my Band. Otherwise, you might get Layla tossed into the mosh pit--wait, I think that's a good thing.
A tad strange to be sure...but it beats going out to a Karaoke Bar to unleash your inner performer.. that would REALLY have worried me.
I want to see an image of Layla.
I believe that we all have an inner 'rock star'....I know I can be a diva at heart.....teehee!
"....Who spent all our rockband money?..."
Um..you make money in Rockband, but everyone has teir own account, so "Layla" gets her own money, seperate from the other members so they can buy what they want as well....
Good words.
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