I went to a movie tonight. It's not something I generally do on a weeknight but a friend called at the last minute and I thought, I can throw caution to the wind--go out to see a late movie on a whim. I'm trying to be more spontaneous--enjoy life more. Of course I'll go.
So my ex husband is taking the kids out to dinner--see Emo Mom blog below because ex coming over generally creates some sort of chaos. But we get through it and off they go.
Although usually a most punctual person;-), I arrive only several minutes late to discover it's one of those movies where if you miss the first few minutes, the remainder of the movie is shrouded in confusion.
I have to add here that I love my friends who so thoughtfully saved me a seat: They might, if prodded, say I have a habit of being ever-so-slightly late. I also note that they sat near the front--and no one ever wants to do that--because they assumed I would forget my glasses. WRONG. I actually lost them!! Girlfriends Rock!
But I digress. So the movie is making no sense but I'm happy to sit in a quiet theater, with a diet Coke, buttered popcorn, and screen filled with George Clooney who manages to be entertaining though I haven't a clue what's happening. Case in Point, Oceans 12, and 13.
Not surprisingly, in the middle of the movie my phone rings. I know this will be the first of several.
Call number one: The boys. They are in Target and their father refuses to buy them drinks. So I have to try to say, in a muffled whisper, just tell your dad to get you some juice. Tell him I didn't get to the store today. Though Mr. Ex is not on the phone, I can feel the vibes emanating from his brain--"all the alimony I send and now I have buy goddamned groceries." Let's just say no drinks were here when I arrived home.
Call number two: Comes halfway through the movie. My younger son has left his backpack in the car I drove and he can't do his homework until I return. Now the whole night is ruined because nothing is worse than coming home late and having everyone up and waiting for you.
Call number three: Comes scant seconds later. It's my older son screaming that he can't find his iPod charger. I accidentally push the speaker button so the screaming voice shrills out for the entire theater to hear, "THAT FREAKING JAMES LOSES EVERYTHING OF MINE AND YOU DO NOTHING ABOUT IT." Again, I try speaking into my coat--"look in the computer drawer." He can't hear me and hangs up.
I return home. The cleaning lady had been at my house but it's all undone. Boys are up. Dog is outside. I've missed the start of Project Runway. I have 50 emails, 10 phone calls.
As any mom knows, just try to go out and have fun--because Lord know you'll pay dearly!
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7 comments:
Oh, so you’re the one who does that. Sheesh, turn off your damn phone lady.
And diet coke is devil juice! just so you know.
Kids need to be a lot more self reliant. My seven year old called out to me last night because he couldn't find his Transformers book. It was next to his bed. Did he look for it? Obviously not and why should he? Daddy will bring it to him. I told him I had no idea where it was. He was either going to have to find it himself or go to bed without reading. Suddenly, he looked to his left and there it was like magic.
I had one of those old school dads. If I complained about no juice in the house he'd tell me to get a job and go buy my own juice or drink a beer instead. "But I'm six." "In that case, give me back my beer."
Amy, you think you had a bad night....we took Zak to the airport at midnight last night only to find out the flight leaves tonight! Keep on writing....
Come on--everyone knows that the womb is a built in St. Anthony's homing device? Why do you think families are ALWAYS asking the mother figure for the whereabouts of that mythical missing item?
My hubby once gave me an anniversary card with a man standing in front of an open refrigerator filled with NOTHING but butter and he's shouting over his shoulder (can you guess?) "Honey--where're the butter?" This card just resurfaced from its original giving and I hung it--on the fridge--in honor (thanks honey!).
(Note to Duane: not sure how you got in the mix--maybe cuz L was working? Glad you are such a metrosexual that you possess "the POWER"! Use it for good, not evil.)
Bummer about that midnite run!
Does Emo Mom have a troll?
I'm sorry but the troll reference escapes me. Is there something I don't know? Karen, what's he mean?
Ok, got the troll thing explained. not a troll but a dear FRIEND who always complains about my phone ringing. I know who you are, girl. And you're right. Damn it. Next time, the phone stays home....
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