First, text messaging. Ok, just let me say, you often say things in a text message you would never have the audacity to say in person. And once you hit "send" there's no taking it back. Unlike a spoken comment, a text comment can be reread and analyzed. Had there been text messaging when I was in high school and college, I would have flunked out--well even worse than I did without text messaging.
But divorced people, or any people, who have been out of circulation for a while, all I'm going to say is BE CAREFUL with the texting. You can say things that can give people the wrong impression and well..... let's just leave it at that.
Then there's email. Not so prone to causing mishap as texting because you can see and mull over what you've written before sending. I know I'm archaic because I use capitalization and punctuation and will never be able to stray from proper grammar and sentence structure. But even locked in perfect structure, that darn email can cause those gut wrenching moments where you think, God, why DID I JUST SEND THAT? I'm telling you now, be careful what you say...... take it from someone who has given too much information away on email. But it's not as bad as texting!
Dating. What's up with dating? I mean, all this match.com and eharmony stuff. With all due respect, it just seems so horrible. Which is not to disparage anyone using these popular online services, but it's just difficult for me to understand. Plus, I have a good friend (she better be reading this) and we can go on and it's like, "Oh my God, there's (fill in the blank.)" Who wants people knowing you use a dating service.
And the things people write. I mean, I walk my dog at the beach on occasion and where are all these beach walking lovers? Does EVERYONE love walking on the freaking beach (does the dirty sand bother no one--maybe my distaste for beach walking will be my dating downfall). And everyone loves reading historical novels--come on--who does that? Every woman feels comfortable in anything from a gown to blue jeans. And the adjectives: beautiful, stunning, fit, slender, attractive, intelligent, voluptuous, daring. For heaven's sake. I blame it all on the online thesaurus. Everything is so incredibly cliche. The following would be my post should I ever resort to a dating service:
I will decline to post a litany of my exceptional attributes because it seems fairly obvious that if I were such a fabulous catch, I wouldn't be posting on match. com. PS. I don't like walking on the beach!!
Maybe it's just a bit of resentment since Mr. Ex met his love on match.com. I mean.....well, guess it worked for him. Sorry if I offend any match.com readers--don't want a repeat of the hideous backlash from my collaborative divorce posting--and who knows, maybe I will be on match.com someday. And I know who would be the first one to laugh at me!!!! Besides me.
Finally, real dating. I'm sure the rules are much different than when I was in my 20s. But I do not think blogging about a real date would be conducive to having any sort of positive relationship.
That brings us, of course, to a whole new level of communication: this nebulous, crazy blogosphere. We'll explore that later......
6 comments:
Exactly what did we do before cell phones and computers? We used pay phones and person to person meeting (oh yes, can't forget the regular home phone too!)....I've flirted w/ the idea of posting a profile on eHarmony, Match.com, or even JDate but haven't.
If I were in your shoes I'm sure it would be difficult going back into the "single world"...dating-wise anyway. One step at a time, remember that!
I gotta say single life seems pretty awful today. One of the pleasures of a new relationship used be starting over.
Now with Google, Facebook, and MySpace, you're three clicks away from the rap sheet for just about everyone it seems.
The historian Fredrick Jackson Turner wondered in 1898 what we'd do as a country when the frontier closed--when there was no where to start fresh.
What happens when there's no one with whom you can start fresh?
Today a "blind date" is as quaint a notion as news by telegram.
I know, early misperseptions are supposedly the root of much relationship evil.
But misperception--plus a top hat and sparkles--is all there is to magic.
Is that Jim K? See, if you go on match.com you can say with authority that you read historical novels!! Or at least that you know random facts from obscure historians! Nice!!
I can totally relate with your feelings. It's hard to figure out whom is real any more and the high tech devices seem to add another level of complexity. Let me know if you ever figure out how to get back on the dating scene w/o appearing desperate and phoney. Great job on article.
Who wrote the anonymous post? I hate when I don't know so write me!!!
I was helping a friend of mine set up a match.com account. Why do all the men's photos look like mug shots? It's horrible.
i don't trust any of these sites anymore. Who really wants to know all this personal info? Big brother, indeed.
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